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PhD Comics, didn’t include DOIs in their recent bibliography of Christmas-related citations. For lazy people, compiled list is below.

Tip #1: Walk fast when on campus and explain to colleagues that you cannot go out to lunch because you are busy responding to law review editors’ comments on your manuscript.

Below is a prototype script for batch article submission. Perhaps, one can find it very useful

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, and point a hair dryer at passing cars… see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice! Every time someone asks you to do something… Ask if they want fries with that. Put decaf in the coffee maker for …

I couldn’t resist to share this graph. Absolutely fantastic results!

Science FAQ:
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
A: Elephant x Grape x sin(alpha)
Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a mountain climber?
A: You can’t cross a vector and a scaler!